So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
