did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
