before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
