I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Semen is not good for contacts.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
