Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
