He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
