We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize