Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
