So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
