No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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