I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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