there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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