yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
