I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
