I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
