I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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