i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
