toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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