So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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