I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
