I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize