Cold hands, warm shart.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
