so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
