We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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