you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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