he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just high enough for therapy.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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