They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
