he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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