Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
