Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
