ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We had to coat check the pizza.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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