i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
