You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You work out of a Hotel?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
