He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
