I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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