ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
