Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
