I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My feet surprised me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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