went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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