I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
