Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize