What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize