it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
