Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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