totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
