"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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