Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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