i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He? As in you personified your dick?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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