...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
