Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
