i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
