She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
