The maid of honor just puked.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my phone needs a breathalizer
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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