You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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