Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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