so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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