I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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