i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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