i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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